Friday, January 8, 2010

Happy birthday River!

Can't believe it...our baby boy is ONE year old! As I am sitting here typing this there are tears in my eyes. I just keep thinking about that amazing morning when the nurse placed him on my chest. That overwhelming magnificent feeling of pure love...not only for my baby, but for my husband as well. I do not regret the 7 wonderful years Bret and I spent together just he and I, but I did not know I could love him any more than I had...until that very second. I thought, wow, this human being is part of BOTH of us. Both of our blood runs through his veins. Both of us responsible for his very being. We created him.



I spent the entire 9 months of my pregnancy just praying and hoping that I would have a healthy baby. I did EVERYTHING by the book...daily vitamins, exercise, no pop, etc. I think back to my life changing experience 2 1/2 years ago, laying in a hospital bed in the ICU, in completely different circumstances...People praying for MY health! Now here I am a couple years later, maybe even in better health than I have ever been,....and a perfect, beautiful healthy baby boy in my arms. I stared at every inch of him. From his head of blond hair, down to his tiny toes. I couldn't believe how perfect every little part of him was! His little body was so warm against mine. I felt no pain. A complete feeling of euphoria came over me. Then seeing Bret hold him for the first time, I knew he felt the same love. Here we were at the hospital with a BABY! OUR baby!! It was unlike any feeling I had ever had. I often look back at the pictures from that day and sometimes get a little sad. Although I love to watch him grow and change, a part of me just wants to keep him my "baby" forever. I know I must embrace his changes and let him grow into this little boy that he is becoming...this little boy who will someday become a big brother, a man, a husband, a father, a grandfather...
But for now, he is our adorable little 1 year old.



9 comments:

Jamie and Mike said...

I've had similar thoughts about my kids.....bitter sweet. Glad he had a nice bday!

Nikki said...

What a sweet post. You made me cry thinking of my girls, and my love for my husband. Thanks for helping me open my eyes wider!

Denise said...

Happy Birthday River! They grow up too fast. At times you are grateful and at times you want them little forever! Can't have both I guess.

Liz said...

Now I am crying!!! I can't believe he is a year! Thank you for your post.

Ben and Ash said...

Darling post!

Candace said...

cutest little boy!!

Ally Christensen said...

Happy Birthday River, you cute little peanut!

Dayna Carlson said...

Wow, I'm in tears as I read your post. i can only imagine what it must feel like to hold a new born baby in your arms. How time flies huh! I'm so happy that River came into your life (and OUR life) :-) Can't wait to see you and him today !! Love you!

Tamina said...

Wow! That pretty much sums up everything I feel about my kids too. What a beautiful post! I'm so glad you have River in your life (and in ours) I love you guys!